My favourite places to eat and drink

Only my favourites. My personal favourites. Disclaimer: I’m poor and nostalgic for the no-frills Soviet days, thus my liking for places stuck in a time warp. I also try to avoid situations that impose a certain way of behaviour. Most of the ones below don’t. You can walk in in farmers overalls or in a $2000 suit, drunk or sober, smiling or with a noose around your neck looking for a place to attach the rope, and no one will even notice. Nothing even smacking of face-control. The crowd is generally older and on the ugly side, which is a plus for me and most of you too, unless you excel in the practice of denial..

Related categories: Religious establishments (I make a note of those with a good cafe, and rate their doctrine based on their food), VegetarianAlcoholism.

Второе дыхание (Vtoroye dykhaniye, Second wind) behind Metro Novokuznetskaya. It is generally acknowledged by connoisseurs of anti-glamour as the dirtiest and stinkiest of Moscow’s low-life drinking establishments. Standing room only. Hole in the floor toilet. Smoking permitted and expected. A classic. This at a glance appears like a true-to-life set of photos of Second wind >>

Аист (ayist, Stork), Lubyansky Proyezd 25, by the park which is Moscow’s main gay and lesbian hangout.  Gays assemble by the Plevna monument while lesbians have their get-together by Cyril and Methodius. The Plevna monument commemorates the ugly story of 1877, when Russian incessantly attacked Plevna by throwing crowds of poorly trained recruits at Osman Pasha’s guns, eventually sort of won, took  40+ thousand Turks prisoners and sent them north where most of them died of cold and hunger. You may want to read more about in Wikipedia or consult Turkish sources for a perspective that I personally find more credible and convincing than the official Russian patriotic interpretation. The moral is don’t fuck with Russians but if you do don’t surrender because Russian captivity leave you a 10% chance to survive while death is likely to be long and painful. Cyril and Methodius are the inventors of this Russian neither-nor alphabet, and I’ll spare you my opinion on these two jerks and on my compatriots’ maniacal drive to be different even when it comes to information exchange standards. Here I just want to tell you of Aist, which is between Plevna and gays on the one hand and the Cyril and Methodius brothers and the lesbians on the other. See a series of Aist photos here >>

While at it I’m mention a chebureki joint at Solansky projezd 4/1.  Both this and Aist above are standing room only. Aist has pretty good food though and is probably the fanciest of “zabegalovka” (=run into (fast)) style places, and a drink and a chaser will easily cost you over 300 roubles ($10). Cheburechnaya at Solansky projezd 4/1 as basic as they get and same $10 is about as much as you can stuff and pour into yourself.

Домовая кухня (domovaya kukhnya, home kitchen), metro Pervomayskaya, south-east corner of Devyataya Parkovaya and Izmaylovsky Boulevard. is one my favourites partly because it was there in the 70s! Good solid Soviet-era food too. Photos coming up. Recommended for hungry authenticity enthusiasts with 250 rouble of change still left in their pocket. Huge menu for an establishment that gives you a choice of bent aluminum and reused plastic forks. Vegetarians too will find something to eat there!

A babushka-run stolovaya at Krasnoprudnaya 18 or 20, between Komsomolskaya (train stations) and Krasnoselskaya. One of the most spartan places to eat yet food itself is prepared with great care.  A mix of bent aluminum forks and reused plastic ones, 28 roubles per shot vodka, train passengers drinking and talking life in the corner, a stay dogs wondering in and getting fed. The bright facade dissonates a bit with what’s inside. Possibly that’s why I never went in till recently, when I froze my ass off during these futile and unfocused winter protests. Speaking of freezing, I recommend a cup of tea with lots of sugar, a piece of lemon, and with 50g of vodka poured in, plus a couple of chocolate bars as a quick way to warm.  Vodka needs to be **in** the tea to have more warming and less inebriating effect!

At Hatter’s calls itself “Intellectual and leisure club”. I would not go there myself, one of the reasons being a job sign that lists age as the main requirement. Not that I would want to work there but being told that I’m not welcomed because of my age offends. But the place is just the sort many travellers like so I’ll list it. The concept is that you pay for time: 2 roubles per minute for the first hour and 1 rouble per minute for each subsequent hour, which works out to be $4 and $2 per hour. During that time you can consume all the tea and toasts and jam you want. It is in Kadashi that was in the news recently because of the destruction of yet another 19th century building. Defenders of old Moscow centered around the church that, a couple of years ago, organized a pogrom in the Sakharov center. A good illustration of how hard it is to tell here who are the good and bad guys. It is close to Kadashavskiye Baths, and within easy walking distance from my apartment that for rent. The exact address is Tretiy Kadashevsky Pereulok 6/13. They regularly host meetings in English. See www.inhatter.ru RELOCATED? DISAPPEARED?

The Old Believers Refractory at Rogozhsky Val. (Metro Marksistskaya, Metro Proshad Il’ycha) is so good that it is managed to make it to the list of my favourites even though no booze is served. Even if it is – I wonder what’s in those little bottles in the back – the spirit of the place makes impossible to even think of having it in my habitual quantities and manner. On many days it is purely vegetarian/vegan but not wimpy New Age type vegetarian but proper human food. Starts early (something like 7:30) and stays open till at least 10pm. You’ll find some pictures on the Old Believers site here >>

Cafe at the Old Mosque at Bolshaya Tatarskaya. Simple cheap fresh food. The menu is meat-oriented of course. The style is a near exact replica of a Kolkhoz stolovaya from the 70s. Crowded and visitors are expected to eat and leave. The form of address is “brat” (“brother”). Outside the cafe is a board explaining the role of Tartars in the formation of the Moscow state and of the Russian language, in English.

Another Muslim cafe at Studencheskaya (???). FULL STORY COMING UP. More of a restaurant than a cafe. Although Muslim, faces there at Studencheskaya are much gentler than at Bolshaya Tatarskaya. Perhaps it is run by a different part of the Muslim world. The prices are higher but still very reasonable. The bill for 2-3 will be around 1000 roubles ($30-40).


Comments

My favourite places to eat and drink — 8 Comments

  1. Dear Uncle Paul, thanks for feedback and placing Oldbeliever trapeznaya in your favourites.
    Despite it`s rather surprising to find our place among gay and lgbt favourite sights, even though the quisine was the criteria for selection, I promise our cafe will hopefully stay free of these elements, at least the attitude towards them will stay as quoted from Sodom and Homorra chapter in the Bible : ))

    See you soon,
    Trapeznaya addicted Oleg Khokhlov,
    editor of http://www.molodoj.ru

  2. No, only the Aist/Stork is between sexual minority hangouts, and even these are no longer there.

    Criteria was not “cuisine” but being among my favourites. Yours is not “cuisine” but “cooking” and that’s what’s appreciated. I prefer “cooking” to “cuisine”, “description” to “presentation”, “teacher” to “learning facilitator” etc. etc.

    On the Vegetarian page too you’ll find yourself side by side with the Hare Krishna people. But evil Nikonians, with their wimpy refractories, are no match for you.

    On the Religion establishments page you’ll be close to your competitors too. What I can do is draw a fence around your description, and add a warning to the effect that those visiting your stronghold may provoke a long-deserved rain of fire and sulfur upon Moscow. If my holy grace meter* shows any positive reading the place gets listed in that section. If I locate a sect of Satanists that warship in the right spirit and manner – an unlikely but logically an entirely conceivable possibility – they will be among my favourites.

    I’ll be updating and moving both Vegetarian and Religious establishments from cheap-moscow.com to where.cheap-moscow.com real soon.

    Having said the above, is it still safe for me to show up at Rogozhsky?

    Pasha

    ——————
    *The original in my mind was “если жопой чувствую присутствие святого духа”. Russian makes it easy to combine concepts that don’t go together. One of the things that justifies the continued existence of this absurd place.

  3. Dear Uncle Paul,
    Personally I do not represent the owner`s position as I`m just a patron of this place but we appreciate your choice.

    Moreover, I regret I did not copy the page from a British guide around Moscow putting Rogojzskoe and especially Trapeznaya as one of the Moscow`s undisclosed sights worth visiting. I met a man from London last year accompanied by our local guy who was really surprised that that foreigner brought him to this place.
    By the way that time we granted some traditional home made spirits for them which you hardly will find both in the menu ot those bottles at the back : )) They were really lucky to meet me as it was really a happy coincidence…

    Regarding the fence, I appreciate that, but usually in such cases we leave the revenge to God, so it is not needed, and you are still welcome. : )

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